Couples get confused what their marriage is all about. For some they look at their marriage as disneyland. They try to push away their problems and deal with it when it’s out of control or too late.
For other couples they see their marriage as a classroom. A marriage is to make you feel good but at the same time teach you different lessons.
Let’s say your husband lost his job six months ago. You barely surveying on one income. You have 5 credit cards and they all reached their maximum. Your savings are almost wiped out and you are worried about making rent the following month.
Most times couples feel like a failure when they encounter this situation. Your husband thought he would get a job by now and contribute to the family. The pressure is on. You are having a hard time at work and stressed out about the finances. Every time you talk to your husband you don’t see any hope in sight. He is starting to resent these conversations. You have been more than patient and expect him to make a greater effort to take care of the family.
If your main goal in life is to have a great home, financially secure less stressed than you usually are then you feel disappointed and stressed. Your self esteem may take a hit. You could give a meaning to this event and think someone is making you suffer.
This is a shock and can stress any marriage.
For some couples they don’t understand what’s really going on. They say “ life was supposed to be smooth. Why should I face all these challenges. Why me? I want my marriage to feel like Disney.”
And there are others who been through this and say “I get it. Marriage is a classroom. We are going through some painful lessons. But these are temporary. We need to learn these lessons now so we don’t make these mistakes in the future. Next time we need to have more savings, find jobs where its less volatile and work together to get over this bump.”
As soon as this is over we are ready for recess.
When reality does not meet our expectations of the way things should be we end up in pain. Make the wrong decisions and place severe stress on the marriage.
Give your situation a new meaning. What lessons are you meant to learn from this. Once you understand that then focus on how you can get to your end goal.
Marriage is a classroom. There is great opportunity for you to grow. That is the only lesson you need to understand in order to turn your marriage around irrespective of how you feel in the moment.