Michelle has been working on a new project for almost 6 months. Her co-worker David and her are tasked to get this project complete on time. They have lunch together almost every day. Recently Michelle has been staying at work a little longer than usual. Her cut off time is 6pm but found herself staying up to 8pm in the office.

Michelle feels a little insecure since this is her first big project at work. Mitch, her husband, has not been supportive of her in this new role. He would prefer to have her home on time and constantly fighting with her.

David on the other understands how important this project is to Michelle. He comforts her when she feels insecure and is always there to help here when the going gets rough. When Michelle stays after work to talk with David she really feels refreshed and happy after a long conversation with him. It helps her calm down and face Mitch when she gets home.

She feels that she can emotionally connect more with Mitch than her husband David. After  6 months on this project she looks forward to monday mornings with Mitch. The weekends are usually stressful at home and being at work with Mitch seems to make her more happy.

Is Michelle having an emotional affair?

The trap that couples face, is that an emotional affairs is the easiest to fall into.

When it happens, like with Michelle, you don’t even realize what is going on.

It could be a long distant friend, someone from your past, your co-worker or someone new you just met. This person always seems to give you the best advice. They seem to really connect with you and understand you in ways that no one else does.

You feel happy with this person than your spouse.

Michelle is having an emotional affair when she has reached the point where she feels that she can emotionally connect better with David than with Mitch.

The reason we get married in the first first is to experience better emotions. We get married so that we feel better with our spouse than being alone.

When this connection happens with someone else you enter the grey zone.

It could be you or your spouse is  having an emotional affair but don’t want to confront or think about it.

An emotional affair is far more common than you think.

Before it can lead into anything else pay close attention to the warning signs. Then set boundaries around how you feel about the other person.

Being aware of what’s going on and being present about your relationships will help you overcome these feelings towards another person.

Think back to some of the close relationships you have outside your marriage. How can you set boundaries to keep your marriage safe?outside your marriage. How can you set boundaries to keep your marriage safe?